


dave striders apocalypse log

by LuckyDiceKirby



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Homestuck Shipping Olympics, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-24
Updated: 2012-06-24
Packaged: 2017-11-08 10:25:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/442185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyDiceKirby/pseuds/LuckyDiceKirby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i guess this might turn out to be like the last trace of humanity or something. just fuck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dave striders apocalypse log

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the HSO '12 Bonus Round 1, for the prompt Dave♦John, zombie apocalypse + diary/journal. This is what I get for writing fic after watching Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.

  
well fuck it just occurred to me but i guess this might turn out to be like the last trace of humanity or something

just fuck

i mean i guess it could be worse like imagine if lalonde was one of the last few humans on earth and felt the need to write out a goddamn faq like she did last time the world up and fucking ended

hell thats probably what she is doing at this exact moment

okay thats dumb at this exact moment shes probably blowing off a zombies head with her crazy grimdark powers or eviscerating one with some knitting needles

that or shes dead

dammit

fuck it im just gonna get on with this apocalyptic tale shit 

man this could be some real irony gold like

i could make up whatever shit i wanted 

kay here we go dear mr survivor of the zombie apocalypse first of all good job man

second of all listen this apocalypse was totally a government plot

like the president was all fuck this country also fuck the world who needs to be alive and have their brains in their heads and not being chewed on by zombies

yeah man thats totally what happened

okay anyway that was stupid

this is probably just a huge monumental waste of time like if i survived fucking zombies everywhere no way i would waste time reading some kids diary

maybe i is should get a pink sparkly pen for this

note to self do that the next time we get to a town with some kiddy store

so get ready nonexistent audience for the continuing adventures of dave strider and john egbert trying not to die horrific deaths

when last we left off everything had gone to shit and our two plucky heroes were on the run because the shitty apartment in houston they were hiding out in was invaded by zombies and apparently zombies are the only creature not born with an innate fear of smuppets 

which is pretty much irrefutable proof that zombies have no souls

not like that was something anyone was seriously considering or anything

anyway

so me and john were on the run last time i found time to write and

this is me building up suspense

for the no one who is ever gonna fucking read this

okay i think thats enough suspense

yeah were still on the run everything still pretty much sucks 

were trying to head out to roses old place in case shes still there

her or her body

not that john would ever say that but im pretty sure were both thinking it

alright strider out

-

surprise surprise guess who isn't dead yet

you know i wonder if zombies can write journals

record all their important zombie daily lives

all like so today i ate fifteen brains

and then i took my zombie daughter to school and had a talk with her teacher to discuss her grades

looks like shes failing her face-eating class i think im gonna have to ground her

teach her some responsibility

and she cant go out with that zombie boy for the next month hes a bad influence

anyway

so were still on the run

we made it up to kansas and i feel fucking lied to there are fucking hills everywhere all up in this bitch

went to a shopping mall

place was deserted thank god

if there is one thing i do not need it is dealing with soulless monsters while im shopping

or zombies those would suck too

egbert continued to be an idiot as always

im wandering around trying to find some decent eats and he shows up with a pair of fucking aviators

all excited like he gets

i lost the other shades he got me ages ago while i was busy trying not to get eaten

these arent authentic ironic movie shades or anything but i guess theyll do

but seriously who else but fucking john would even think of something like that at a time like this

god

-

who would have thought that insomnia was a symptom of the zombie apocalypse

think id be able to sleep like a baby knowing theres bloodthirsty zombies lurking everywhere

you know i am so fucking glad i got stuck with egbert in this whole mess

there is no one else i would rather fight off the zombie hordes with and not just because he is damn handy with that hammer

pretty sure hes the only one who could keep a smile on his face through all this

pretend like everything will actually be fine in the end

i have no idea if he actually believes it but i have the sneaking suspicion he aint actually that dumb

kind of wish he was

kid deserves some peace

-

made it up to roses

nothing here but a lot of a fire and a healthy stash of alcohol

like man what is it with this place and fire

gotta hand it to mom lalonde though keeping the liquor cellar outside was a stroke of genius 

-

gpd tthat dfuckin egbrrt cn be suhc n ass

like

thereas fuckin zombiis tajen o;ver hte fgodam wrold 

im goinna ddink what i wadnt to

but hes alk 

we gotta keewp our sperits up

fuck htsat 

-

god shit fuck damn

fuck hangovers

fuck shooting zombies with a hangover

fuck fuck fuck

-

john sat me down and gave me an honest to god talking to

like hes my dad or something

i seriously do think he was channeling his dad there

think he barely stopped himself from telling me he was proud of me

also i think hes worried about me

as if thats a useful thing to be doing right now

there are fucking zombies

who gives a shit about my mental health

of course im not in a fucking good place right now jesus christ there is no good reason to even bother being sane

-

john says we should head back to texas

think he thinks i might be happier there

like happy is a fucking concept that even holds any meaning anymore for anyone but him

i told him we should try to find jade

dunno how the fuck we could pull that off but he lit right up

guess hes got a plan

or hes just too damn optimistic for his own good but whatever

he says the only way to go now is forward and fuck

but i guess hes right  



End file.
